Candid

Shake, shake... pat, pat
Rouse and bask in its grandeur whilst passersby and motorists enjoy the view of the worn out string that once were BYC briefs around his waist.

The sign clearly states: "No urinating here, By Order!"

"These people, by whose order? Road dem no see to repair o, na piss wey pesin piss, na dat one dey work dem, wan giv dem hatatak."
"Nonsense, I'll give them something to write about", he laughs to himself as he eases his trigger happy third leg at the sign.

Splash, splash a wheeze...
"That ought to do it. That sign hasn't seen a decent shower in a long time, no thanks to the damn harmattan."

He hesitates for a bit as Mama Ngozi's special begins to kick in.
"Make dem cari mata go top, no be nature say make we piss an' shit? Nature write special manual to support wen, wia, how e go take nack pesin? Imagine o, even if manual dey sef, na dem hol am? Nature sabi dem before? Nature fit trust dem? Nature wey no gree giv Aristotu... na dis bad belle pipo she wan reason? For di wia? Yeye pipo, dem tink say na dem sabi pass."
"These are the issues!" He exclaims, triumphantly shooting his right fore finger into the sky.

He turns to walk away - eyes fixed on the Pedestrain Bridge, oh he'll pass. Let's see whose time these ones want to waste, he thinks to himself.
"I don dey suspect say Jagaban an' im boys no wan dey pay Lastma, na why dem cari dis jangolova tin put evri wia... make Lastma cari dia wahala dey catch pesin kuku kolobi dia own cut put for pocket."
In the same breath he adds, "Ah, smart move, the idiomatic one stone kills two birds, divert funds under the guise of Pedestrian Bridge projects and generate funds for the unnecessary menace that is Lastma... Hmmmph. Life was better off in Cambodia."

He aims at his final destination, does a quick maths in his head, after muttering the starting commands (On your mark, Get set, Go!) under his breath; suddenly he feels like an Olympic sprinter- only this is a Nigerian highway.
He gives himself a push as the errant Trailer driver ignores the traffic light and steps on the accelerator instead.
It is dark - his final destination.


...For Forty